The Sting of a Needle

I never thought a little ring would be so life changing. Not even as I sat down in a black leather chair and felt the sting of the needle pressing through the flesh of my nose. “Changing an aspect of your physical appearance”, a concept that seemed to me a predictable, if not uneventful feat. And so as I considered the many ways I could go about doing something like this, I decided to do something a little drastic. A septum piercing. That seems reasonable… 

I have secretly always wanted one. But it is something I would never realistically do. Or so I thought. For those of you who do not know, the septum is the skin in between your two nostrils. Most people relate this piercing style to cows or other animals that have rings placed in their nasal septums to discourage suckling. As such, it is generally viewed as a pretty avant garde piercing location. Especially in the culture in which I grew up. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I was born and raised in Utah County. Much of the culture is inspired by the church here and so from a young age I was taught principles of modesty and cleanliness. Basically the “your body is a temple” spiel. Multiple piercings are a hot topic of debate amongst members, with most not permitting any form of them. I myself have never felt that multiple piercings limit my spirituality and luckily have parents who feel the same way, to an extent of course. In highschool, I was permitted to get 2 additional piercings in my ears with no issue. The discussion however, changed dramatically when a couple years later I told my mom that I was thinking about getting my nose pierced. Somehow, this piercing crossed a sort of invisible line. In my moms eyes I would go from a cute respectable girl to the type of girl who would get her nose pierced, whatever that implied. I never did get my nose pierced but the idea behind my moms fear of me getting the piercing always stuck with me. At the time I didn’t think that I could understand her logic. What was wrong with a small stud on the outer edge of my nose? That little rock surely couldn’t change who I was. How was that any better than getting multiple piercings on one of my ears? I realized my mothers fear when I started to consider this project. Getting my septum pierced was never part of my life plan. I had never really thought of why. But as I considered changing a portion of my outward appearance and had decided that doing something drastic was the best choice, I realized why I absolutely had to get a septum piercing. It was because of this fear; the same fear my mom experienced when I told her I might get my nose pierced. The fear of what people might think of me. Allow me to explain. In my mind, the type of person who usually gets their septum pierced comes with a host of drug problems and chipped black nail polish. An unfair stereotypical judgement that seemed to haunt the idea of a septum piercing in my minds eye. As my mom had irrationally feared that a nose piercing would make me appear a certain way, I feared that a septum piercing would turn me into a drug addict, or at least make me look like one to passerby. A concept that seems to permeate human history and highlights the idea of perception when it comes to identity. 

Our textbook defines this concept by saying, “Perception is the process of making meaning from the things we experience in our environment, and when we apply this process to people and relationships, we engage in interpersonal perception.” (Floyd, 2016) My mom and I had subconsciously used interpersonal perception to place an image of the type of person who would generally get the piercings we had considered. This is a powerful process noted by intellectuals throughout history. Albert Einstein questions the phenomenon by saying, “it is entirely possible that behind the perception of our senses, worlds are hidden of which we are unaware.” While Susan Cain highlights the issue with such thinking when she said, “we perceive talkers as smarter than quiet types, even though grade-point average and SAT and intelligence test scores proves those perceptions wrong.” Even though this unsatisfactory concept seems to embellish every thought that we have about one another, the extensive process through which it has formed has proven nearly impossible to break down. Thus, the issue persists. According to the textbook, interpersonal perception forms through attribution (Floyd, 2016). Attribution is something all living things seem to dabble in. Essentially attribution is the process through which we connect events, people, actions, and things. Attribution is the connection between everything we see and more importantly everything we perceive. And it is a process that develops in humans from infancy. As discussed in the article titled The Emergence of Intention Attribution in Infancy written by Amanda L. Woodward, Jessica A. Sommerville, Sarah Gerson, Annette M. E. Henderson, and Jennifer Buresh and published on the US National Library of Medicine- National Institutes of Health, attribution is recognized as controlled by intention from a very young age. It is a survival instinct, and how we learn to avoid things that can hurt us and enjoy things that are good for us. (Woodward, Sommerville, Gerson, Henderson, Bruesh, 2014) For example, my mom's mother had a nose piercing throughout my moms childhood. Growing up she watched as her mother was consistently proving herself not fit to raise children. She struggled with alcoholism and addiction. And stayed in an abusive relationship with my grandpa subjecting her kids to that daily. Ultimately when my mom was 14, her mother left in the middle of the night, abandoning her and her siblings and leaving them in the care of their abusive father. Though she may not have recognized it, according to the authors of this article, my mom very well may have made an attribution or in other words a connection, between nose piercings and one or many of the downfalls of her mother. So too, would be the case with me and assuming that those who get septum piercings are automatically connected to drugs and black nail polish. As humans, we see things and instinctually connect them to other things. This is why certain smells remind us of distinct places or times, why the sound of someone's voice is comforting, or why christmas music makes us feel the way it does. No matter how subtle, good or bad,  all of what we think leads back to the attributing process innately ingrained within us. 

So as I decided to challenge myself and get the septum piercing I so naturally connected to unsatisfactory things. I was scared. Scared of how people would view me, terrified of how my mom was going to react, and self conscious of how it would look. I got the piercing on September 28th and kept it in for an entire week. I wore it to school, work, church, and anywhere else my life took me in a weeks time. I was shocked by the effect that it had on me. Initially, I was actually pretty excited. The ring that I got was dainty and I thought it even looked cute. The guy who did the piercing told me that I had the right face shape to pull it off and thought it was hilarious when I told him why I was getting it. At first, I thought I might even leave it in for longer than the week that I was planning on. But that all turned around the minute I showed it to my mom. Disappointed is an understatement for how she reacted to my new accessory. It was remarkable to see how a single metal ring, no bigger than a dime in diameter made my mom so heartbreakingly sad. We laughed about it as I explained that I would be removing it after the week and letting the hole grow in. But everytime she saw me throughout the week, she visibly gasped. Each member of my family reacted basically how I expected them to. My dad made fun of me for looking like a bull, my youngest sister just called me an idiot. My two older sisters and my brother-in law all actually thought it looked cute and encouraged me to keep it in. While my 1-year old niece thought that it was a new toy for her to play with (her reaction was easily the most painful). It was interesting, however, that even though their reactions were the strongest and most obvious, they were actually the least of my concerns. It was the reactions of strangers that I could hardly bare. That little ring made me more self conscious than three years of highschool ever did. Most people would just stare at it, likely not think anything, but in my mind thinking the absolute worse of me. I wanted to walk around with a sign that said “this is for a school project” or “please do not stare at my nose” although neither thing was an option. Instead I just worked through the week best as I could. At work, where I primarily deal with older people I received the most blunt reactions, second only to my family. One lady, who I have known for over 2 years, literally said, “Now why would you do that? You are too pretty of a girl to do that.” Many of the men explained to me how septum piercings were used on livestock and would end their explanations with a simple, “that's interesting.” I hardly stood up to the scrutiny. In fact, after their initial reaction I would explain that it was for a class project and that I would be removing it at the end of the week. At which point, clear relief would flood through them. Slowly, through the many stares, condescending comments, and confused looks, I decided that my septum piercing would definitely not be my new fashion staple. 

I did learn, in the end, how important my identity is to me. How crucial it is that I am perceived the way I want to be. I know now, that through the insanely cryptic process of attribution, humans draw unfair conclusions about one another. And that even without the piercing, it is likely that there are other things about my outward appearance that rub people the wrong way. With this knowledge, I can hopefully start recognizing when I have judged someone before I get to know them. And with that, I can at least hope that people will give me the same courtesy. Ultimately, understanding how powerful perception can help us to move toward a more inclusive society. Perception can literally be the thing that locks citizens within a society or it can be the key to freeing them, whichever it is is up to us. 

References

Woodward, A. L., Sommerville, J. A., Gerson, S., Henderson, A. M. E., & Buresh, J. (2009). The emergence of intention attribution in infancy. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3997181/.

Floyd, K. (2016). Communication matters. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.